This is the first of perhaps many sleepless nights. Not to say this is the first time I’ve gotten
upset about the big change that is about to happen, but I guess reality hit
that 3 weeks from today I will be moving to a foreign country. It hit me tonight, a vision of me walking
toward a plane, leaving my family and all familiar things behind me. Everything about this vision scares and
upsets me. I know there will be tears on
my face, and I can’t bear to see the tears on my family’s face. In fact this is my biggest struggle with this
whole thing- leaving family behind. Therefore,
I am making myself make a list of all of the positives that are about to happen
over the next few weeks.
1-
We will finally begin the journey God has called
us to. We have been sharing our ministry
with churches for a year and a half now; it’s about time we are able to do what
God told us to do!
2-
No more deputation! Living out of our car is very difficult and
tiring. And our poor car needs a rest!
3-
I get to unpack all of my suitcases in a place I
can call “MY house”! And I get to decorate
it however I want!
4-
I’ll make new friends.
5-
Learn a new language.
6-
See new places.
7-
And I get to take my husband with me!! Not sure I could do this without him. Going
alone would be much harder. I think of some of my military friends overseas, alone, and am thankful God is letting me work alongside my husband.
8-
We get to do lots of shopping when we
arrive. For house stuff. Fun!
9-
We get to spend some time with our good friends,
already living in Thailand.
10- I can stop eating so much takeout food and start
cooking again!
11- Perhaps I’ll lose some weight. Eating out all the time takes a toll on your
body.
12- Maybe I’ll learn to drive a scooter…
13- After I learn to drive on the wrong side of the
road.
14- I’ll become a frequent-Skype-user.
This is only a few, all I could
come up with in the middle of the night.
Reading back over my list, it sort of sounds like a bucket list. Which is pretty funny, since a bucket list should take you years and I’m about to dive
head first into all of them at once. I
know I need to be thankful. I am about
to experience things a lot of people dream about. I could not have set all this up myself; it’s
what God has called me to. But even a
calling can be extremely scary. Please
say a prayer for us, as we prepare the next few weeks to pack up our lives as ‘almost’
missionaries, and begin the life as ‘on the field’ missionaries. Pray for me to look forward to the positive,
instead of mourning what I’m leaving.
Pray for our family's to understand we love them and we are not leaving them, but instead
going to follow the Lord. And pray for
my husband, J and
that I can hold myself together to be the supportive wife he needs at this time!
And there will be all those new foods to try, and new places to see, and a new appreciation for everything you have, and, well, a whole new wordlview!
ReplyDeleteThis move can do great things for your marriage, too: you two will be going through joys and struggles nobody at home will be able to fully understand. For all practical purposes, your family will be limited to your spouse, and it will give you a new appreciation for each other.