At the beginning of week 33, I began having some
back pain and showed some other signs of labor.
I had painless Braxton hicks contractions on and off, and didn’t really
think I was in labor, but decided to get checked by the doctor anyway. When I went in, they asked my symptoms and I
said, “Some contractions.” This sent the
doctor and nurses into a little bit of a panic, and they immediately hooked me
up to a monitor. The doctor kept saying,
“Just stay calm.” I felt totally calm,
just wanted to make sure the baby was alright.
To my surprise, the monitor showed I was having contractions every 2
minutes about 15 seconds long. I was not
feeling them, but the doctor noted they were apparently intense enough to get
things started. At this point though, I
was not dilated at all. So, the doctor
gave me a medicine to stop the contractions and sent me home on bed rest. He really didn’t specify on what activities I
could or could not do, but after this point, with any activity I would get a
contraction. Painless yes, but ones that
I knew would make me progress like he said.
So the first few days I tried to do simple things, such as go down the
stairs and make a sandwich for lunch.
After about two days of this, I knew I had to stop. The medicine was not quite strong enough to
completely stop all the contractions I was getting. This medicine had horrible side effects that
made me feel much worse than before I was on it. But, I kept getting reminded this was for the
baby. It was way too early for him to
come.
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| Getting Checked at 33 Weeks |
We
did a week of bed rest. When I’ve heard
of women being on bed rest before, I’ve thought, “How great to spend hours
watching movies, being catered to, and really getting to rest before the baby
comes.” However, when it was my turn,
this was totally not my feelings. I knew
there was a possibility I would not leave my bed until the baby came, and I was
so not prepared for him like I wanted to be.
I had so many preparations I wanted to have done before I went into
labor, but this just would not happen.
I
also felt 100% guilty for all that I was putting Jared through. He was doing everything. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, on top of his
normal ministry work and teaching during the week. He worked so hard and never complained. I could tell this was wearing him out
quick. If he had to leave during the
day, he would set up enough meals and snacks for me in the bedroom and made
sure I had enough entertainment to get me through the day. I’ll be honest though, after about 3 days,
there was not enough entertainment to keep me from wanting to get up and do
something.
On
June 30, at 34 weeks, I went back to the doctor for him to check and see how
things were going. They did not see any
contractions on the monitor and the baby still looked great. I was feeling horrible, but these were due to
medication side effects. The doctor
decided I could try to come off the medication and try light activity at this
point, since I was still not dilated and everything seemed to have
stopped. So I went home, but I decided I
would continue to take it very easy, especially since I wasn’t feeling like
doing anything with the medication still in my system.
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| Taken just 3 days before Luke was born. |
On
July 1, I had a little bit of that back pain again that made me go to the doctor
the first time, but I was determined not to go back on that horrible medicine
so I didn’t move from my bed all day. On
July 2, I began having a few contractions with this back pain. Jared had gone to teach that day and was
going to run some errands after, but I texted him and asked him to just come
get me after school so we could go back to see the doctor. Something just didn’t seem right. The contractions didn’t hurt before, and now
they did. So around 5 p.m., we saw the
doctor. He recorded only two
contractions in 20 minutes, but insisted they were probably misreadings because
they were so high in intensity. I
insisted I was feeling that intensity!
At this time I was still not dilated or progressed at all, so he made me
take one of those dreadful pills in his office, and I was to continue taking
them on a very strict schedule. I was
also not allowed to do anything until at least 37 weeks. This is what he said our goal would be for
keeping the baby inside. My mind dreaded
the thought of another 3 weeks on bed rest, but I knew I would have to do it
for the safety of the baby.
That
evening we went home, ate supper, watched a movie and I pretty much went to
bed, all the while still having those contractions. I was waiting for that medicine to kick in
and stop them and I thought sleep would help.
Jared woke me up at 1 a.m. to take my next dose of the medicine. After I took it, I tried going back to sleep
but those contractions were getting a little more frequent and I was too
uncomfortable to sleep. I laid in bed
looking at Facebook and with my eyes closed trying to sleep until about 3
a.m. At this point the contractions and
the pain in my back were so painful I needed to really concentrate my breathing
through them. I just knew something wasn’t
right, so I woke Jared up and told him we needed to pack our bags and go to the
hospital. I had sort of begun the
process of packing our bags a few weeks earlier, but I was nowhere near
ready. In my mind, I honestly assumed that
night they were going to admit me and I would spend the next three weeks in the
hospital waiting on the baby. Before we
left I also stopped to call my mom. I’m
glad I did.
The
drive to the hospital was interesting. I
think I had three contractions on the way, and was able to talk pretty normally
between them. Everything was a blur and
hitting bumps during contractions hurt real bad. I was really focusing on my breathing to try
to get through them. I can remember
there were so many dogs lying in our road and Jared had to keep slowing down
for them to move. I had a very intense
contraction just as we went over the railroad track just seconds away from the
hospital. I asked Jared to stop the car
right after the railroad, since I thought I could get through it much better if
we were sitting still. He said, “I can
see the hospital!” and just kept driving.
This was probably best.
When
we got to the hospital I knew I could walk in myself, so we just parked in
regular parking and made our way in.
Right after I got in the door a contraction hit, and I had to stop and
lean on the wall for support. I told
Jared to go on and get us checked in.
Later he told me that I was quite a funny sight leaning on the
wall. A man came running over with a
wheelchair and I laughed, I didn’t want it or think I needed it, and I felt
ridiculous riding in it. I was not in
labor! We just needed to check on the
baby and my doctor would help stop this.
We
got all checked in and they hooked me up to monitors. I was having contractions for sure and they
were strong, but not regular. The emergency room doctor decided to check at 4
a.m.to see if I was dilated, and she said to our surprise I was 4 cm. I panicked.
I could not have this baby yet.
Fear began to overtake me, but I still had hope they could stop the
labor. People could stay dilated for
weeks before the baby, right? That
doctor called my doctor, which I was so excited about. I really trusted him and I knew he could make
things right.
When
my doctor arrived I remember apologizing for making him get out of bed in the
middle of the night. I assured him I
wasn’t in labor, I just wanted to check things and see if they could help stop
the contractions. He decided to check my
progress and at 5 a.m. I was 5 cm dilated.
He actually said a curse word when he realized my progress. So I said, “Okay what can we do?” And he said, “You have to have this baby
today.” I was so sad, and looked at
Jared and started crying. I knew there
were many possible things that could go wrong with having a baby this early and
all of these were playing through my mind.
I was so scared for my baby, and I was scared for myself. I wasn’t ready to have this baby yet. I was probably never going to be.
The
doctor left us alone a few minutes to process all of this, and Jared assured me
by reminding me that our baby had been healthy for every checkup and showed no
signs of any problems the entire pregnancy.
He had a better advantage at being born early than a sick baby. This put my mind at ease a little, but my
mind was going 100 mph and I really was panicking. Then I remembered the doctor had said the
baby would need to go to a special hospital if he was born early, a hospital
about 2 hours south of us. I knew this
was sure to happen now, and I was already sad that I wasn’t going to be able to
go with my baby. I’d be stuck in this
hospital recovering by myself, since of course Jared would go with the baby. There were too many horrible things going
through my head and I just couldn’t handle them at this time.
Jared
had been on the phone with our families on and off from the time we left the
house until now, and I had gotten to talk with my mom a little bit now and
then. What I would have done to have her
there with me now, to reassure me.
Throughout these hours, my mind drifted to that place of self-pity,
where I was really sad my family wasn’t there with me through this. I knew they were all sitting by the phone
anxiously awaiting more news, but I wanted them there with me. And little did I know things were about to
get worse.
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